A house full of guests… no biggy right? Well, for me when my mum has her friends over I feel trapped. Today is exactly the same. The same feeling leaves me overwhelmed and I cower away in my room to avoid any social interaction and the possibility of being embarrassed.
I know, it seems ridiculous right? I don’t want to come across as rude but I just can’t help it. I feel awkward after-all I don’t these people very well and small-talk is incredibly awkward. Overthinking combined with the fear of seeming anxious makes me a prisoner in my own room. I can’t leave, it’s as if the door is a barrier to the danger. In my mind, I know there is no real danger but I just can’t seem to shake the feeling.
My mum simply doesn’t understand that when she shouts ‘COME DOWN FOR SOME CAKE AND SAY HELLO’ at the top of her voice it only makes it worse. You see, the problem I face now is that it seems forced. I feel awkward and I don’t want to come down especially after being prompted to.
I’m not really used to having to make small-talk with people I don’t know as at uni we’re all pretty close so that’s fine. I just don’t understand it’s as if my body goes into meltdown when people I’m not close with come over. I get that it can seem rude but I’m not going to apologise, why should I? After-all they haven’t come over to see me and if I’m being honest I doubt it makes any difference to them if they see me or not. Unless of course they asked to see me (which I very much doubt).
It’s a difficult situation, I think deep down I know I should probably show my face but on the other hand, is it worth feeling anxious over? What’s wrong with staying in my room whilst I let them get on with catching up? It would be helpful to hear some responses so please let me know what you think about the issue…