ATTACK

photo of guy fawkes mask with red flower on top on hand
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Attack

I see the body of a shark

Its eyes fixed on its prey

Alone now stuck in the dark

Will it live to see another day?

Attack

I hear the buzzing of the bee

I’m pretty sure it’s coming for me

Please, don’t land in my tea

Racing around it hops on my knee

Attack

I taste the poison in the potion

It trickles down my throat

A slow type of notion

Do pass me that note

Attack

I feel the beating of my heart

Nobody told me about this part

Speaking out loud

Oh, wouldn’t I be proud

The impossible mission

My ultimate vision

There it is again

I go to grab my pen

Sorry Mrs I have to leave

But why?

You’re not going to die

You see I’m about to heave

Please anxiety leave me alone

I’ll call you, we’ll talk on the phone

HIT THE TARGET

note notebook notes page
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January the third and I’ve already reverted back to old habits. I set my alarm for 10.00 am today but yes you guessed it I over slept. This anxiety malarky has a habit of making us feel completely drained, that and a messed up sleeping pattern leads to the finger hitting the snooze button on the alarm. It’s funny really, I got myself so worked up about my New Year’s Resolutions and barely a day in it’s already going Pete Tong!


I suppose the purpose of this post is to understand that not everything will go the way we want it to. There’s no point in setting goals if we don’t consider the drawbacks. As Charles de Gaulle said ‘We may have lost the battle but we have not lost the war.’ The year is 365 days long so that means we have 365 opportunities to succeed… but also to fail. Don’t get me wrong of course we all want to do well but its important to remind yourself that some days just aren’t meant to be. And that is completely fine.


I’ve written a list this year so my resolutions are in black and white. But then it hit me, why not set short-term goals throughout the year that are more realistic? You see New Year resolutions are all-well and good but lets face it by the second week of January you’re already giving up! And that is exactly why I’ve chosen to set myself targets for the month in order to deal with my current situation.


To start with my targets for January are as follows:

  1. Ace exams
  2. Attend lectures/seminars
  3. Drink less

So there you have it! My attendance at uni hasn’t been great over the last year and thats largely to do with how I’ve been feeling. As you may be aware, I become extremely anxious in certain situations that involve public speaking and the seminar environment is a prime example of that. I know its important to attend (well according to my tutor’s) so I have to at least try… but even as I type this I know it won’t be easy.


On a final note, I hope everyone is able to achieve their own targets whatever they may be! For myself, 2019 is an opportunity to really find my feet again. Just remember it’s OK to not be OK there are people that can help.

Feel free to comment below your own targets for 2019!


SIMPLYMILESH

Check out this book by Catherine Pittmann which deals with tackling anxiety for good!

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